On Emily Dickinson's Poem #754

Yuen M. Ho
English 48B
January 24, 2007
Journal #13 Emily Dickinson

I. Quote

“My life had stood—a loaded gun—
In corners—till a day
The owner passed—identified—
And carried me away—
…
For I have but the power to kill,
Without—the power to die—”

II. Summary

The phrase of “loaded gun” strikes me. I ponder over its meaning, trying to comprehend the underlying message of the entire poem—whether it is discussing about her relationship with another man or is trying to bring about other implicit messages.

A loaded gun is ready to kill; it is destructive. It is a weapon ready to be used by anybody, but has no choice over its owner. In regard of the relationship between the gun and the owner, the latter has complete control of the gun. Besides, in other parts of the poem, the author also reflects her happiness in serving and working with her owner.

This can be a complicated relationship if the author was referring to her relationship with somebody. It can be someone she loved and enjoyed being with. That person might be a dominant person who had control of her. Nevertheless, she was willing to serve him/ her and make sacrifices.

This can be one method to understand this poem.

III. Response

Emily Dickinson is hard to read—I cannot but admit the truth in this statement. For over 30 minutes, I read the poem over and over, looked up in dictionary for every new word, and analyzed the meaning of “a loaded gun” so as to understand the feelings of Dickinson when she wrote this poem. Nevertheless, I failed to relate the characteristics of this object of description to Dickinson and her life—probably because I just know a smattering of her background, which remains largely as a mystery.

Yet, her poem can reflect her personality. She is emphatically more critical than romantic, as reflected by her choice of words, which are strong and piercing. They cut deeply into readers’ mind and hearts, leaving one startled, amazed and awaken.